As the holidays inch closer, you’re likely thinking about the time you’ll be spending with family and close friends. And while we all want those moments to be filled only with laughter and football games, this can also be an ideal time to initiate some communication.
No, we don’t want all the merriment to come to a screeching halt. But opening a dialogue about future plans could be the best gift you could all give each other.
Why These Conversations Are So Important
Every family will face questions about money and aging eventually. Talking about them now, when things are calm, can make all the difference later.
It helps everyone stay on the same page. Whether you’re a parent explaining your wishes or an adult child trying to understand them, open communication prevents confusion and conflict.
It brings peace of mind. Knowing what’s in place—wills, insurance, savings, long-term care plans—helps everyone feel more secure. We all know that life can change in an instant. Being prepared can help you and your family tremendously if illness strikes suddenly. I cannot overstate the value of honest conversations in preparation for accidents or illnesses. In my life, my mom spelled out her wishes clearly with her kids and wrote them out with her physician. When Mom could no longer speak, her plans were clear. As heartbreaking as it was to let her go, we had the reassurance of following her instructions. I can still feel the peace in knowing what she wanted.
It protects your legacy. A clear plan ensures your hard work supports the people and causes you care about most.
If You’re a Parent: Share Your Plans Openly
If you’re a parent, one of the greatest gifts you can give your children is clarity about your financial wishes. They want to honor your plans, but they can only do that if they understand what those plans are. Let them know you’ve taken the time to organize your financial affairs and where important documents can be found. Share what matters most to you, whether that’s maintaining your independence, providing for your family, or leaving a legacy.
You might even consider inviting your financial advisor to join the conversation to help explain how your plan works and answer any questions that come up. These discussions don’t have to focus on numbers; they can be about values. By explaining the “why” behind your decisions, you help your family appreciate what truly matters to you and ensure that your intentions are carried out with confidence and care. We can help with these conversations by directing a healthy discussion. Thanks to the many families that we have worked with over the years, we have learned many lessons, from which we can share helpful points with others.
If You’re an Adult Child: How to Talk About the Future Without Making It Awkward
Starting a conversation about money or aging with your parents can feel delicate, but approaching it with care shows love, not intrusion.
- Begin with empathy by saying something like, “I just want to make sure we’re prepared and that your wishes are honored.”
- From there, ask gentle, open-ended questions such as, “Do you feel confident that everything’s in order?” or “Would it help if we looked over things together after the holidays?”
If they haven’t reviewed their plan in a while, offer to help schedule a meeting with their financial advisor or attorney. These conversations aren’t about taking control - they’re about ensuring your parents’ plans reflect their priorities and that everyone understands how to support those wishes when the time comes.
Start Small, but Start Soon
Family conversations about finances and future care don’t have to happen all at once. Sometimes, the best approach is to start small—share a story, ask a question, or offer to help organize a few key documents.
Whether you’re the one leading the conversation or simply encouraging it, these moments of openness can bring your family closer together and ensure that everyone feels supported and informed.
If you’d like help reviewing your financial plan - or want guidance on how to start these important conversations - I’m here to help. CLICK HERE to make an appointment.
Let’s make sure your family’s financial future is as strong as the traditions you celebrate together.